so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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