They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
