fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
