I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize