this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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