Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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