All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
