Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
