I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
