ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He better not be in your backpack
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
