So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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