Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Your cock deserves a montage
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
