Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
