I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Watching her eat just hurts me
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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