Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
