Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize