no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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