Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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