we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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