I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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