My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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