How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This baby is an asshole
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
