Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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