On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
