I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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