Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
