We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
