shes about as inviting as chlamydia
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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