Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
