I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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