false alarm. still invincible.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
