yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
