he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
