I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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