well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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