So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i permit you to call me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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