I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
