she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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