Screwed.edu
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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