I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize