We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
