this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
