We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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