He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
