Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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