you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
