I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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