I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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