We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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