god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
