I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize