Sry I called you an 8
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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