they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
