Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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