Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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