i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
