Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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