Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize